i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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