ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
