Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
