Well douche your snatch and let's go!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
