I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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