he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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