oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
someone owes me an orgasm
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
