this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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