i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
