Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
