woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think my moral compass just broke
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