I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
