We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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