we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
