How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
