i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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