Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
