I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
