it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
