My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
