This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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