i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
