Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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