He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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