Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
