He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
