this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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