just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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