i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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