If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
