I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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