Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
