He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I intend to get homeless drunk
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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