1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
