you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
