Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
