2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
