Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
