I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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