Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
