I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
