sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize