Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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