i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she told me i tasted like america
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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