yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
