dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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