sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
