peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
