You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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