Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
