I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
