let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
