Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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