Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
