My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were trust falling into bushes
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
