the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
