Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
