how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
