shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
