it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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