She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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