6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
