so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
