Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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