nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
